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| I'm moving to hungup-hearts.livejournal baby!
(After two years yes I know, toodles!)
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| Hello world today's a bad day.
1) I'm not feeling well & thus I missed school + chem prac omg.
2) Everyone's going to CPM and no I'm not going.
3) I'm still trying to figure out how I'm supposed to get to JP & get Karen's present for her yknow.
4) I'm having hiccups.
5) I am overwhelmed by manymanymany thoughts and this sucks like mad.
6) I need to meet Jolee really really really soonnnnn.
Oh what a surprise hahaha, Hanyi just messaged me! Omg omg, Hanyi okay Hanyi hahaha she's so cute yay I feel better. Anyway, I love my dad (!!)
"The sony erricsson phone is repaired, luckily, but the battery's gone case. Bought a new battery at $35. So you owe me $35 :P"
"Hahaha yay!! Thanks, die already la I owe you $35!!"
"Zzzzzz...."
"EH WHAT I'M REALLY VERY POOR OKAY $35!! I know I know claim from Mummy!"
"Claim your head! Anyway can you please take care of your personal stuff in future? & does the ipod pouch fit?"
Does he even sound like a dad hahahhaah I love my dad (!!)
& that time we went to Malaysia hahaha for some gay trip & this happened on the bus!!
"Pig."
"What pig, you want anot?"
"Hahah okay give me... (awhile after I ate it) IT TASTES LIKE DRIED MENSES!"
"Dried menses your head ahhhhh!"
& then he happily finished the whole packet of dried mango hahahahahha whatthepong.
Love my daddy & mummy!!
(Not "The Father" whose highly, irresponsible & lazy & sickening & more.)
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| Life:
It's about finding knowing in the unknowing, and the unknowing in the knowing.
It's about finding certainty in the uncertainty, and the uncertainty in the certainty.
It's about finding unhappiness within the happiness,
and the happiness within the unhappiness.
It's about finding oneself within others,
and others within oneself.
It's about finding love within hate,
and hate within love.
& probably so much more.
But most importantly, its about finding our needs within God, and God within our needs.
nine; it has to come to a halt.
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| Honestly, I'm starting to think that I wasn't created for something big in the Kingdom. Most of the people start off feeling small, and then, they grow, and realize, they can be so much more. I started off differently. I had big dreams. I knew where I was going to get, I just knew that I would become a massive warship, one that would attain victories with God. But now, I'm beginning to think, maybe, I'm made for something small.
God promised us that we would be the head & not the tail, but if everyone was the head, then it wouldn't be a head anymore, if you get me. It'll just be a uniformed line, so, what's with the usage of the word, "head"?
Much as it is indeed difficult for me to accept, I think I'd be remaining small. I told Jolee that I'd like to be small for now, and that I was fine with it, because I'm still afraid of losing sight of God. To me, being more than who I am now would bring me pride, and hence, resulting in my fall, so there, I told her, I'd be small.
But you know, for somebody with great dreams like mine, being small forever is difficult. This thought scares me. I can be the tail now, but someday, I want to be the head. Yet something tells me, I won't.
Everyone has a part to play in the society, and maybe, I'm just meant to be a tiny little vendor in the Kingdom.
You know, God, much as I abhor this thought, much as I wished I could be the one converting five thousand each day, much as being small forever scares me, so much, I will still run.
Only because, I love You. Keep that in mind, God, keep that in mind.
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| Hello world, life's been busy busy busy, but it's okay, I have God!!! (& chinese homework but still!!) I'm a happy kid cause:
1) I'm journalling more regularly for QT!
2) I'm feeling the urgency for O levels (Though the urgency alone hasn't gotten me to do anything yet HAHA)
3) School's been good cause I have awesome friends. HAHA FIGHT!!
4) I still have time for myself.
5) Spiritual warfare's been pretty manageable, ups & downs, but thank God, for God!!
6) Belly's been a happier kid and Happy Belly = Happy me (:
Dear Belly, Idk if you'd ever see this but please stay happy and try to find joy in all the things you do. Keep having faith that God really cares for you, and yeah as you've said, "When there's no way out, let God in." Love much!
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