| | Honestly, I'm starting to think that I wasn't created for something big in the Kingdom. Most of the people start off feeling small, and then, they grow, and realize, they can be so much more. I started off differently. I had big dreams. I knew where I was going to get, I just knew that I would become a massive warship, one that would attain victories with God. But now, I'm beginning to think, maybe, I'm made for something small.
God promised us that we would be the head & not the tail, but if everyone was the head, then it wouldn't be a head anymore, if you get me. It'll just be a uniformed line, so, what's with the usage of the word, "head"?
Much as it is indeed difficult for me to accept, I think I'd be remaining small. I told Jolee that I'd like to be small for now, and that I was fine with it, because I'm still afraid of losing sight of God. To me, being more than who I am now would bring me pride, and hence, resulting in my fall, so there, I told her, I'd be small.
But you know, for somebody with great dreams like mine, being small forever is difficult. This thought scares me. I can be the tail now, but someday, I want to be the head. Yet something tells me, I won't.
Everyone has a part to play in the society, and maybe, I'm just meant to be a tiny little vendor in the Kingdom.
You know, God, much as I abhor this thought, much as I wished I could be the one converting five thousand each day, much as being small forever scares me, so much, I will still run.
Only because, I love You. Keep that in mind, God, keep that in mind.
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| | Posted 5/11/2009 8:11 AM - 1 View - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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